Humor – Page 11 – education and deconstruction.com

Precarious

PRECARIOUS

sung to the tune of “Aquarius” with apologies to the Fifth Dimension.

When the boss was in the White House
and his cult confronted cops
then violence guided their protest
and hate did steer his props.

This is the dawning of the age of Precarious.
The age of Precarious.
Precarious! Precarious!

Scare-tactics and grandstanding,
hypocrisy, mistrust abounding.
Only falsehoods and derisions.
Hyper-hostile party divisions.
Economic devastation
and government’s deliberation.
Precarious! Precarious!

When the boss was in the White House
and his cult confronted cops
then violence guided their protest
and hate did steer his props.

This is the dawning of the age of Precarious.
The age of Precarious.
Precarious! Precarious!

As the votes got counted through the night,
can’t wait to inaugurate
to be the bearers of the new world order.
Only time will tell our fate.

We’re in the clutches of the age of Precarious.
The age of Precarious.
Precarious! Precarious!

Scare-tactics and grandstanding,
hypocrisy, mistrust abounding.
Evil, evil machinations,
germs-and-bullets consternation,
wrong-headed in policy courses
guided by historical forces.
Oh dear, us. Precarious.

A Fighting Chance – BONUS POST

The death toll is rising among all kinds of Americans in connection with illegally acquired firearms. See ENDNOTE at the bottom of this post.

And now, a non sequitur: The Bonus Book of the Week is “A Fighting Chance” by Elizabeth Warren, published in 2014.

Born in 1949, Warren spent her childhood in Oklahoma, but later lived in Texas, and various cities on the Eastern Seaboard.

In a rare achievement for a female of her generation, she earned a law degree. With her daughter, she wrote a book about how Americans’ spending habits changed between 1971 and 2001. After meticulous research and numerical analyses, the authors explained why Americans are actually getting poorer with every generation. The answer is that even with accounting for inflation– wages haven’t risen in value; and housing, healthcare and education costs have soared.

Warren was appointed to a task force that investigated the big-bank bailout of 2008. She thought of the task force’s mission as bipartisan, but early on, Congressman Jeb Hensarling (R.-TX), had an us-versus-them mentality and wanted to make sure the Republicans on the task force got the same resources that the Democrats did in their investigation.

The task force hired expert auditors to check and re-check whether taxpayers got their money’s worth, since taxpayers were the ones fronting the money. But for the task forces’ calling the financial institutions’ bluff on their claims, taxpayers would have been financially punished even worse.

Warren wrote that it was fortunate that in 2011 the media helped publicize the lies of the big financial institutions (the credit unions and community banks weren’t to blame) in the mortgage and foreclosure scandals– because regulators were, out of willful ignorance or incompetence, not doing their jobs.

Warren recounted her stressful experiences running for a U.S. Senate seat in Massachusetts in the 2012 election. Here is a parody that sums it up:

ELECTION BLUES

sung to the tune of “Electric Blue” with apologies to Icehouse.

If I had a chance

to run for office like you,

are you gonna hate from the start,

smear and lie with your crew?

Are you spying somewhere behind my lines?
I just cringe with every wrong that you do me.
You get away with it, too.
Election blues.

No privacy. I need to raise money.

Tell me what can I do?

Election blues.

Oh, you dealt me a low blow.

Voters believed it was true.

Oh, I would give anything just to defeat you.

Are you spying somewhere behind my lines?
I just cringe with every wrong that you do me.
You get away with it, too.
Election blues.

At great expense,

traveling all over as I’m briefed on issues.

Election blues.

I can sense, sense that the media

are plugging for you.

Election blues.

I’m so tense, I need to get votes.

Tell me, what can I do?

Election blues.

ENDNOTE: Warren told an anecdote in which she met with a religious minister to pray for victims of gun violence (after the fact!), instead of suggesting a way to prevent it. Her areas of expertise are obviously law, economics and finance, but it appeared that she was told not to talk about “gun control” because her mouth had gotten her in trouble on another issue earlier in her campaign.

It seems America’s current leaders think GUN CONTROL is a dirty phrase, pandora’s box, not worth fighting for, or for some, it is too lucrative to even mention.

As is well known, Third World countries (!) have black markets in firearms. The United States likes to think it is more civilized than them. But in recent decades, that point has become more debatable.

In the second half of the 1970’s, the nation suffered both psychological and physical “malaise” of various kinds. Forty years or so ago, even though there was no political lockdown imposed to try to stop the spread of severe flu– there was intense political pressure put on president Gerald Ford to do something. So a swine flu vaccine was developed in 1976. There were also two (!) assassination attempts via firearms on president Ford.

Then, in March 1981, president Ronald Reagan was shot by someone who had acquired a gun illegally. Fortunately, he survived to turn the country around psychologically. No one wants shootings to ever happen again. But the ones involving illegally acquired guns are a reasonably preventable occurrence!

Further, Americans’ First-Amendment right to peaceably assemble has been severely restricted as an alleged COVID prevention measure. It is also obvious that keeping large numbers of people from gathering in one place, makes deaths from gun violence less likely. The fact that professional athletes, some politicians and VIPs have had their right to assemble restored with no disease-prevention measures, shows that keeping people apart was not actually a disease-prevention measure.

It seems America’s leaders should pass federal legislation on ILLEGAL-gun control, in order to restore the rights of ordinary Americans to peaceably assemble, as assembly is a Constitutional (federal) matter. If they have the courage. One last thing– a question for the ages: After all he’s been through, how can Steve Scalise live with himself?

Outsider in the White House

The Book of the Week is “Outsider in the White House” by Bernie Sanders with Huck Gutman, published in 1997, with an afterword added in 2016. This was a combination bragfest / rant of a political-career memoir.

In 1981, Sanders was elected mayor of Burlington, Vermont. He was a member of the Independent party. The then-board of aldermen (equivalent to a city council) consisted of eight Democrats, three Republicans, and one Citizen Party member. They outvoted him at every opportunity. Nonetheless, he was able to get rid of sweetheart contracts, and establish:

competitive bidding;
a Little League;
a tree-planting initiative on city streets;
a summer concert series;
a Progressive Coalition that helped get board-of-aldermen candidates elected, who would help him. [In 1982, three of six Wards of Burlington won their elections. But the Coalition never did get a majority on the board];
community-oriented entities (such as the Burlington Women’s Council, and a Youth Office that included a Teen Center, to implement local initiatives such as Operation Snow Shovel); and music and cultural events.

Sanders improved city services in law enforcement, firefighting and sanitation. He secured programs for TRULY affordable housing (unlike in New York City). Although he was the mayor of a city, he delved into the foreign-policy issue of then-president Ronald Reagan’s wasting of taxpayer dollars in Latin America. For, those dollars could have been better spent taking care of U.S. citizens in his city.

In 1988, Sanders ran as an Independent candidate from Vermont for the U.S. House of Representatives, against a Republican and a Democrat. He nostalgically reminisced that they ran “… civil, issue-oriented campaigns. The debates were respectful and there was no negative advertising, no desire to ‘destroy’ the other person.”

As a Congressman in the 1990’s, Sanders attempted to legislate raising minimum wage, and blocking the elimination of a subsidy for home heating for the poor. He actually sponsored legislation to:

help dairy farmers in his state;
block a raise in pay (compliments of American taxpayers) given to the Lockheed-Martin board of directors and CEO;
create more affordable housing; and
stop insurance-company discrimination against the poor.

In 1996, Sanders wrote that Republican leaders went hog-wild in bashing: gays, immigrants, affirmative action, abortion and welfare. On that last issue, they made serious cutbacks which resulted in savings that were STILL less than an increase in military spending of about $60 billion over a six year period.

Sanders considers himself a socialist. His political philosophy toward economics seems to harken back to a 1940’s term that ought to be used more often–a label given to Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.: “NCL” or Non-Communist Left. Sanders wrote not one word about his views on any Soviet dictator. There was no indication whatsoever that he espoused the political system of Communism.

Schlesinger summed up NCL thusly: “The welfare state, I observed, did not at all mean direct government control over the economy. It was perfectly compatible with the free market. It meant simply the establishment of basic national standards of living for all citizens… The electoral process offered the means by which noncapitalists– farmers, workers, intellectuals, minorities– could invoke the state to defend themselves against capitalist exploitation.” Such process “… brought about a relative redistribution of wealth that defeated Marx’s prediction of the immiseration of the poor…” which leads to class resentments that boil over into violence when dissatisfaction reaches critical mass.

Read the book to learn more about Sanders’ political career. The following parody sums up Sanders’ description of the American political culture of the 1990’s and early 2000’s, just as the original theme song from the TV show “All in the Family” fondly recollects American popular culture of the 1930’s and 1940’s.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

sung to the tune of “Those Were the Days” with apologies to the Estate of Gene Raskin.

Boy, the way Bill Clinton played.

Bills for war, tax cuts and trade.

Guys like Bush, they had it made.

Those were the days.

And you were told what you were then.

The Apprentice, Idol, Seinfeld, and Friends: made us long for a man like Ronald Reagan a-gain.

GOP smeared the welfare state.

Social media squelched real debate.

Gee, our online lives ran great.

Those were the days.

Message in A Black Hole – BONUS POST

Message in A Black Hole
sung to the tune of “Message in A Bottle” with apologies to The Police.
A song Trump is singing now.

Just a castaway, but I don’t want to concede, oh.
With more votes, I’ll get back in the lead, oh.
More lawyers than anyone could bear.
I haven’t any shame so I don’t care, oh.
I’ll send an SOS to the world.
I’ll send an SOS to the world.
I hope electors get my
I hope electors get my
I hope electors get my message in a black hole, yeah.
Message in a black hole, yeah.
Years have passed since I’ve won the globe
but I resist liberals’ every probe.
I hope my supporters can keep me in power.
I can win again and
I can break those Dems.
I’ll send an SOS to the world.
I’ll send an SOS to the world.
I hope electors get my
I hope electors get my
I hope electors get my message in a black hole.
Message in a black hole.
Oh, message in a black hole, yeah.
Oh, message in a black hole, yeah.
Rallied this morning.
You know what I saw.
Lots and lots of ballots in states that I adore.
Seems I’m in love with being loved.
Lots and lots of lawyers.
I can’t stand being snubbed.
I’ll send an SOS to the world.
I’ll send an SOS to the world.
I hope electors get my
I hope electors get my
I hope electors get my message in a black hole, yeah.
Message in a black hole, yeah.
Oh, message in a black hole, oh.
Oh, message in a black hole.
Sending out an SOS.
Sending out an SOS.
Sending out an SOS…

The Truths We Hold

The Book of the Week is “The Truths We Hold, An American Journey” by Kamala Harris, published in 2019. This autobiography comes from yet another female in politics who deserves bragging rights. Her passion for justice and common-sense, early-intervention approaches to helping at-risk populations has made a difference in countless lives.

Born in Oakland, California in 1964, the author considers herself “black” although her father was from Jamaica and her mother, from India. Her parents divorced when she was five. She, her mother and younger sister moved to Montreal when she was twelve.

Harris acquired the power to put someone behind bars simply by signing a document, when she became a prosecutor in Berkeley, California. Upon getting elected district attorney in San Francisco, she co-founded a program– Back On Track– that helped first-time law-breakers escape the poverty cycle by helping themselves through: job training, community service, classes that taught GED tutoring and parenting and money management, and drug testing and counseling.

For the first two years of Back On Track’s existence, the recidivism rate among first offenders dropped from 50% to 10%. That turned out to be far less expensive than prosecuting and jailing or imprisoning such people. The program was duplicated in Los Angeles.

In 2010, at a little after 10PM on election night, the San Francisco Chronicle announced the alleged elected attorney-general of California. As is well known, though, newspapers are hugely influential and wrong all the time. But election coverage especially, is emotionally charged. At 11PM, Harris’s opponent, thinking he was the winner, gave an acceptance speech. Weeks later, Harris won the race.

Harris’s was the first state to implement the mandatory use of body cameras for its law enforcement agents. On a different issue, the attorneys general of all fifty states were involved in settlement talks for the subprime mortgage crisis. The big banks were offering literally– a little bit of compensation proportional to the disastrous losses of the residents of respective states, who were behind on their mortgages. Even reasonable reimbursement would not make anyone whole again because bad loans led to adverse subsequent events: joblessness, homelessness, relocations, major life disruptions, suicides.

California had had the highest number of foreclosures of any state (and various victims– not just homeowners– had red ink in the hundreds of millions of dollars in the aggregate). By rejecting the banks’ initial, insulting offer– Harris infuriated both the banks, and most other states’ negotiators. But she inspired grass-roots organizers of homeowners, activists and advocacy groups to push for “…justice for millions of people who needed and deserved help.”

Read the book to learn about: the exciting conclusion of California’s mortgage negotiations saga; Harris’ opinions and actual professional doings in connection with major modern social issues such as immigration and healthcare, and her mother’s cancer care– along with other personal information.

ENDNOTE: Unfortunately, Harris’ running mate, Joe Biden, appears to be less sharp than she is at this time. Here’s a parody that briefly describes his woes:

LAWYERS, LAWYERS AND LAWYERS

sung to the tune of “Lawyers, Guns and Money” with apologies to the Estate of Warren Zevon.

I served some global patrons

the way I always do.

How was I to know, they were with the Russians, too?

I was caught on video bragging.

I hope you take my case.

Send lawyers, lawyers and lawyers.

I’m trying to save some face. Hah!

I’m an innocent candidate,

but somehow I got caught.

Now I’ve been betrayed

by those who have been bought.

Yes, those who have been bought.

Well, those who have been bought.

Now I’m hiding in my basement.

I hope to stay in the race.

Send lawyers, lawyers and lawyers.

Save me from disgrace.

Send lawyers, lawyers and lawyers.

Send lawyers, lawyers and lawyers. Hah!

Send lawyers, lawyers and lawyers. Ow!

Taking in the Masses

sung to the tune of “Grazing in the Grass” with apologies to Hugh Masekela
and The Friends of Distinction

Sure is scandalous, taking in the masses.
Taking in the masses, yes, baby can you rig it?

What a job just hushing up scandals of the past.
Taking in the masses, yes, baby can you rig it?

There are too many politicians who go free while
taking in the masses, yes, baby can you rig it?

The family members making out besides the appointees.
Taking in the masses, yes, baby can you rig it?

And the pundits’ lies and smears stinging like bees.
Taking in the masses, yes, baby can you rig it?

And the claques, flacks and sycophants always eager to please.
Taking in the masses, yes, baby can you rig it?

Everything here is so opaque you can’t see it.
And everything here is so fake but some believe it.
And it’s fake, so fake, so fake, so fake, so fake, so fake, so fake.
Can you rig it?

I can rig it, he can rig it, she can rig it, we can rig it, they can rig it,
you can rig it.
Oh, let’s rig it. Can you rig it baby?

The family members making out besides the appointees.
Taking in the masses, yes, baby can you rig it?

And the pundits’ lies and smears stinging like bees.
Taking in the masses, yes, baby can you rig it?

Everything here is so opaque you can’t see it.
And everything here is so fake but some believe it.
And it’s fake, so fake, so fake, so fake, so fake, so fake, so fake.
Can you rig it?

I can rig it, he can rig it, she can rig it, we can rig it, they can rig it,
you can rig it.
Oh, let’s rig it. Can you rig it baby?
I can rig it, he can rig it, she can rig it, we can rig it, they can rig it,
you can rig it.
Oh, let’s rig it. Can you rig it baby?
I can rig it, he can rig it, she can rig it, we can rig it, they can rig it,
you can rig it.
Oh, let’s rig it. Can you rig it baby?

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS NOT TO SAY THE DISEASE OF COVID IS FAKE. BUT POLITICS AND PROPAGANDA HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FAKE.

Liar’s Circus – BONUS POST

The Bonus Book of the Week is “Liar’s Circus, A Strange and Terrifying Journey Into the Upside-Down World of Trump’s MAGA Rallies” by Carl Hoffman, published in 2020.

Beginning in October 2019, the author attended several rallies held by president Donald Trump. Anyone can reserve online tickets, which are unlimited, regardless of venue size. The author started with Minneapolis–the president’s four hundredth rally since June 2015.

The author spent hours or days driving around the Midwest, South, Deep South, and the Northeast to the different venues. When he finally arrived, he stood in a queue for hours and hours, and at later rallies, two days (but got off the queue at intervals) before he was allowed, hours early, into the stands, or the front-row railing (which was more of a participatory location). At St. Louis, Trump bragged about the size of the crowd. However, in October 2008, then-presidential candidate Obama attracted about one hundred thousand people, “…more than have ever attended a Trump rally, it’s worth noting.”

The author spent a significant chunk of time talking with attendees at these extravaganzas. He found out who they were. Most were the kind of people who would automatically believe some tabloid garbage on the idiot box about, for instance, a book with which the Republicans were less than thrilled. They would then parrot what they’d heard, without having read a word of the book. Most have never read a book in their lives. Some were star-struck social climbers.

One specific kind of Trump supporter was a man who was seeking a savior who would make it socially acceptable for him to blame all his troubles on his political enemies. Another kind was a total Goldwater Republican (once and always a Republican) who would vote for anyone who let his greed go hog-wild through deregulation.

Yet a third kind was neither an aggrieved victim nor greedy but was doing fine economically– wasn’t selling anything; who simply wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and had nothing better to do than meet some people. And of course, who wanted to meet the president.

The author got friendly with this third kind. For, they were familiar faces at consecutive rallies. Like the premise of the TV show Cheers people want to go “… where everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came.”

There were a handful of non-Caucasian people, and Jews at every rally. They were shown prominently on-camera– to deceive viewers into thinking there were lots of them– though there were tens of thousands of white people surrounding them. Every rally had the same agenda, which included (but were not limited to) songs from the Village People– a 1970’s music group with a reputation for diversity. Ironically.

Every rally’s atmosphere was reminiscent of an American church, “… but instead of the peril of losing our souls to Satan, the peril was the Democrats, and the demons were the news media, immigrants and Muslims.”

At every rally, the author heard Trump trot out the same false statements. One was, that he would keep Medicare forever but the “Social Democrats” wanted to completely eliminate it. Further, while his administration was litigating to get rid of the provision under which preexisting conditions are covered by national health insurance, he claimed he would keep that provision forever, and grabbed credit for coming up with it. But it was actually a provision in the original Affordable Care Act. Just like the late president Reagan, Trump was saying one thing and doing another.

Read the book to learn much more about the personal experiences of the author on his quest to understand Trump supporters. And along these lines, here’s a parody of what Trump supporters would say about themselves:

RALLY TOWN

sung to the tune of “Allentown” with apologies to Billy Joel.

Well, we’re living here in Rallytown.

And Trump has got his routine down.

At the stadium we’re having a time,

making new friends, standing in line.

Well, our fathers fought the Vietnam war.

They were patriotic to the core.

And our 401(k)s at an all-time high.

Under the Dems, we were just getting by.

And we’re living here in Rallytown.

It’s the liberals who put us down.

But Trump makes everything okay.

Well, we’re waiting here in Rallytown,

for we think that Trump deserves a crown.

All the promises he makes he keeps:

taxes, the Wall– take that, liberal creeps!

He’s actually going to build the Wall,

and create new jobs for us all.

His economic plans are really real!

Oil, factories, coal– Bleep Green New Deal!

And we’re waiting here in Rallytown.

Democrats bring our cities down.

And they’re taking all our guns away…

Every time Trump tweets another thing,

the media launch another “gotcha” or sting.

They’re sore losers from 2016.

They took away our American dream.

Well, we’re winning here in Rallytown.

And no one will ever keep Trump down.

I can’t wait to worship Trump today…

And Trump makes everything okay.

And we’re living here in Rallytown.

Only in America – BONUS POST

ONLY IN AMERICA

sung to the tune of “Only in America” with apologies to Jay Black and the Americans.

Only in America

can a prez from old New York

go to sleep a rich man

and wake up with even more pork?

Only in America

can an heir who’s collecting rent

get a break and maybe grow up to be president?

Only in America,

land of current fury, yeah

would the population fall for

the split government’s false worry?

Only in America

can a man who goes through wives

still emerge a power broker

when his business dives?

Only in America

could an election like this come true,

could propagandists control voters like me and you?

Only in America

land of current fury, yeah

would the population fall for

the split government’s false worry?

Only in America, land of current fury

Only in America, only in America…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Bonus Book of the Week is “An Idiot for All Seasons” by David Feherty, published in 2004.

In this lighthearted compilation of essays, the self-effacing author wrote about golf, and likened it to popular culture. In the single-digit 2000’s, he heard a sermon from the archbishop of Canterbury, who said:

“People with no sense of humor have no sense of proportion and shouldn’t be put in charge of anything.”

The author heartily agreed. The author had one other relevant snippet:

“The most popular shows on television are… based on lies, avarice, and deception… the public humiliation of a previously exalted individual…”

Therefore, in order to get political information from the horse’s mouth go to: https://www.usa.gov/federal-agencies

Click on the pull-down menu “Voting and Elections” in the upper right corner or use the search bar to enter keywords.

Only in America.

See Nothing and Nobody – BONUS POST

SEE NOTHING AND NOBODY

DOWN BY THE SCHOOLYARD

sung to the tune of “See Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard” with apologies to Paul Simon.

President Trump said reopen schools.

So did the czar of education.

When the teachers found out they began to shout,

which started the litigation.

Teachers said naw! Teachers said naw!

A lot of sick we saw.

There ought to be a law.

Florida’s gov stood his ground, said we’re not bound

to conform to the convention.

Other govs said you must open schools or we’ll legally quash your dissension.

We’ve lost our way.

Don’t know where we’re going.

We’ve lost our way.

Law takes its time. Don’t know where…

Goodbye democracy, via the scourge of Corona.

See nothing and nobody down by the schoolyard.

Oh oh, people are saying they’re going to take school away and have online and home education.

And when the special interest groups have total control,

we’re gonna have an airheaded nation.

We’ve lost our way.

Don’t know where we’re going.

We’ve lost our way.

Law takes its time. Don’t know where…

Goodbye democracy, via the scourge of Corona.

See nothing and nobody down by the schoolyard.

Scholar

SCHOLAR

Sung to the tune of “All Star” with apologies to Smash Mouth and John Green.

Our government exploded.

G.O.P. and Dems unloaded.

We weren’t ready for their evil campaign.

They were getting out of hand with their “Everything is banned.”

They were acting just like Abel and Cain.

Well, this is history and you can’t stop history.

If you read books then it shouldn’t be a mystery.

“You’ll get sick and die if you live for fun.”

Propaganda’s smart but it makes you dumb.

It takes books for us to see

primary sources and all details clearly.

You’ll never know if you don’t read.

It’s awareness that we need.

Hey now, you’re a scholar.

Dust your brain off. Go learn.

Hey now, ignore the noise.

Turn the show off. The worm will turn.

All that reading is go-old.

Only the narrow-minded fear all they’re told.

It’s a rough patch, and it might get rougher.

You’re troubled now.

But you don’t have to suffer.

When pundits and media push your buttons,

reading helps you ignore the panic-gluttons.

You might be surprised who takes the lead.

The voting’s getting near

so you might as well read.

Nothing’s on fire, if you’ve got books.

You’ll be calm and you’ll forget the crooks.

Hey now, you’re a scholar.

Dust your brain off. Go learn.

Hey now, ignore the noise.

Turn the show off. The worm will turn.

All that reading is go-old.

Only the narrow-minded fear all they’re told.

Hey now, you’re a scholar.

Dust your brain off. Go learn.

Hey now, ignore the noise.

Turn the show off. The worm will turn.

All that reading is go-old.

Only the narrow-minded–

Our government decided it’s forcing change;

no more sanity or freedoms in this place.

We said, “Wait. What a trauma.”

We need to vote all the incumbents out.

And we should all applaud such change.

Well, this is history and you can’t stop history.

If you read books then it shouldn’t be a mystery.

“You’ll get sick and die if you live for fun.”

Propaganda’s smart but it makes you dumb.

It takes books for us to see

primary sources and all details clearly.

You’ll never know if you don’t read.

It’s awareness that we need.

Hey now, you’re a scholar.

Dust your brain off. Go learn.

Hey now, ignore the noise.

Turn the show off. The worm will turn.

All that reading is go-old.

Only the narrow-minded fear all they’re told.

And all that reading is go-old.

Only the narrow-minded fear all they’re told.