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As the United States heads for an economy of Jimmy Carter’s administration, it’s midterms time again. Candidates from all different states have all different brands. The ones who profess to be religious, must be careful not to engage in tax evasion in connection with their religion, while candidates who are fixtures in their states must not be complacent. U.S. Senator Susan Collins (R-Maine) is one of the latter. Here’s what she should sing.
I HAVE YOU, MAINE
sung to the tune of “I Got You Babe” with apologies to the Estate of Sonny Bono, Cher and to whomever else the rights may concern.
Platner’s got skeletONS, he’s gone low, said he had PTSD, SOME time ago.
Well, I don’t know if all that’s true, but you have me, and Maine, I have you.
Maine, I have you, Maine. I have you, Maine.
They say I’ve got a liberal bent, but I patiently listen to YOUR every lament.
Well, so the earth’s getting hot. I’m keeping Maine, a cool vacation spot.
Maine, I have you, Maine. I have you, Maine.
I’m mature, in compromi-SING. Serving you well, is my thing. And when I can, I make policy sound. And when it’s time to vote, I’m always around.
There are good reasons I’ve been here so long. With your help, we can keep Maine going strong.
So keep my perfect attendance in mind.
I fear neither bullies not haters. I’m in my prime.
Maine, I have you, Maine. I have you, Maine.
To my constituents, I lend a hand. I’m egalitarian, you understand.
We see so much hypocrisy. I want us to keep democracy.
I help you sleep at night. I honestly do what I think is right.
I have you, I won’t let go. I keep fighting for you, you know.
I have you, Maine.
I have you, Maine.
I have you, Maine.
I have you, Maine.
I have you, Maine.
I have you, Maine…